Ultimate Marvel Marathon – A 29 hour nerd endurance trial
When AMC announced the Ultimate Marvel Marathon, every Marvel movie to date, back to back to back, culminating in an advance (by a few hours) screening of Avengers: Age Of Ultron. . .in 3D no less?! My crew and I knew what had to be done. We would have to sit on our asses and watch 11 damn movies in a row. And I tell you friends, that is exactly what we did!! (jammies and all)
I love a good marathon. Who among us doesn’t? Of course my ‘marathon’ I mean of the Netflix variety. The ‘I just discovered this show and now must watch 37 episodes in row’ kind of marathon. You grab some pals (and your PJs) order pizza, you make wine/beer/bathroom runs every few episodes and before you know it you’ve watch 2 seasons of Game Of Thrones in as many days. (true story. Oh Khaleesi, I hope you find love someday)
This was a little outside the comfort zone of my beloved couch, but I figured, still worth doing (once).
Read here my internal monologue / progression of random thoughts / our collective descent into madness if you wish:
6:00pm – Iron Man
5:58 OK here we go! squee! so exciting!
6:00 The movie starts and there is a literal buzz of excitement in the theatre.
6:10 I love RDJ. He’s my very favourite crackhead comeback story!
6:40 People cheer Coulson like a damn rock star. Should I start watching Agents of SHIELD?
7:00 The Jericho Missile sounds like an awesome finishing move. I miss WWF 🙁
7:42 I should probably keep the phone use to a minimum
8:00 Poor Yinsen. . .where do I know that guy from?
8:05 IMDB says: lots of stuff I don’t watch apparently. Guess I just know his face.
8:20 I love that movie!! It totally holds up!
I lost all sense of time pretty early in the marathon, soooo the timestamps get a little hazy from here on out. .
8:30pm – The Incredible Hulk
8:55 We should go to Brazil. Big butts and caipirinha all over the place. Mmm heaven.
9:05 hahahah poor Stan Lee.
9:20 Hey it’s Arwen! . . .Lol she’s dating Phil Dunphy
9:35 The purple pants!! I love it!!
9:45 Tim Roth as a badass? Alright. . let’s see it. .
9:50 Hey those are the same tattoos he has in Lie To Me. . .Must not. . .use phone . .
9:51 ::googles “Tim Roth tattoos” anyway:: Yup, they’re his actual tattoos.
10:00 Paul has to explain the “Abomination” reference to me. I lose 5 Marvel nerd points
10:25 That was awesome. I wonder if Edward Norton is really a jerk :-/ I hope not.
10:30pm – Iron Man II
10:35 Holy Shit Mickey Rourke!
10:45 Still love me some RDJ
11:00 No Terrence Howard? Oh well, Don Cheadle is more personable anyways
11:15 I have a serious fangirl moment over Elon Musk’s .7 second cameo
11:30 YAS! I need some electro-whips before Halloween!
12:00 Is that the bottom of a jumbo popcorn tub?! What time does the concession stand close?
12:55 What day is it? What’s up next? I’m sleepy
1:00am – Thor
1:10 Yasss. We need to do a Marvel Halloween. I want that damn cape
1:40 Tom Hiddleston’s face in this scene is all I see when people write “Gurrrrrrrl”
2:10 I could watch Kat Dennings unapologetically hit people with cars and taze folks ALL day hahah
2:20 I zzzz out. The rest of this flick passes in bits and pieces of dreams of Norse mythology and Renaissance Faire references
2:47 sleepy giggling because my nickname is The Destroyer. I can’t shoot fire out of my face tho :-/
3:00 Good Lord what day is it?
3:10am – Captain America: The First Avenger
3:20 I suppress the urge to do my best Michelle Fairley impression and shout WALDER FREEEEY at the top of my lungs.
3:30 Holy Hell what is up with Chris Evans’ neck?!?!
3:35 No seriously, make it stop
3:40 The audience once again loses our shit, this time over the appearance of Agent Carter. Marvel your marketing team is clearly doing their job.
5:10 I’m up! I’m awake! No, I’m actually lying. I need coffee. NOW.
5:30am – The Avengers
5:35 Why is Tom Hiddleston so pretty?
5:37 Why doesn’t my hair like look that?! This is becoming a Marvel marathon of unrealistic expectations of beauty -_-
5:45 Cobie Smulders should always wear leather everything. (see?)
6:00 My butt is getting numb
6:30 Why does 3D holographic imaging eye stealing technology even EXIST in this universe?!
7:00 Why does New York always get destroyed in every movie ever?
7:00 They wreck my office building in this scene so I don’t care. It’s awesome.
7:30 Sincerely, whats open? I need that coffee
8:50am – Iron Man 3
9:00 Already too much Gyneth Paltrow for me. I’m out Zzzzz
9:25 Is that the chick from The Awakening?
10:00 Is there ANYTHING Ben Kingsley can’t do?!
10:15 I want to go back to sleep, but the anti-bromance between RDJ and this little kid is too adorable
11:00 Possibly my favourite after-credits scene ever.
11:15am – Thor: The Dark World
11:20 Thor is going to totally ignore the badass warrior goddess Lady Sif for a boring mortal and I’m already annoyed
11:25 Oh Kat Dennings. Can we be friends IRL? We could be the AbFab of this generation.
11:40 Malekith – those braids tho. Fierce baby. FIERCE.
12:20 The audience loses our collective shit over Loki. (and rightfully so)
12:45 The screen reads “Svartalfheim” and I can’t stop giggling
1:30 Paul says Svartalfheim about every 20 minutes now to see if it’s still funny. (it is)
1:40pm – Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2:00 Scarlett Johansson. . .could I show up to work in that outfit on Monday?
2:01 Probably not a great plan.
2:30 Nick Fury Nooooooooooooooooooo!
3:00 Sebastian Stan is weirdly hot with long hair. Why do I have a bad guy thing? Only bad guys with long hair tho.
4:00 okay thaaaaaaat might be my favourite after-credits scene ever.
4:20pm – Guardians Of The Galaxy
4:30 I’m already giggling. I’m delirious and there will be no controlling my silliness during this film. #SorryNotSorry
4:45 Zoe Saldana is even gorgeous when green
5:20 I luv Rocket. All escape plans should involve random and unnecessary prosthetics
5:45 Holy shit! Suicide by Infinity Stone! That never gets less disturbing.
6:00 I tear up over Groot. I’m not ashamed to admit it. My heart is made of stone; but it exists dammit!
6:15 To hide my earlier display of emotion, I whisper-sing The Rainbow Connection as The Guardians teach us all the power of friendship. #TeamworkMakesTheDreamWork
6:30 Baby Groot!!!! Life is good again!
How much my friends and I loved this movie when we first saw it. . . Paul and I painted ourselves blue and green and fought each other with foam weapons on the streets on NYC 😂
7:00pm – Avengers: Age Of Ultron
7:00 I am literally vibrating with excitement. . . or is that delirium?
7:30 He’s fast and she’s weird. Nope, it’s excitement. I’m having trouble sitting still now.
7:55 – 9:30 They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye, They’re gonna kill Hawkeye,
8:15 Vision lifts Mjolnir O_O *The entire audience gasps*
8:30 The scream. There isn’t even sound. But Elizabeth Olsen rips my heart out with that silent scream.
9:00 Scarlet Witch comes out swinging. I lose composure and let fly my queeniest YAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!! The audience cheers, so I don’t feel too awkward.
9:10 That final battle for the switch, lifted straight from a comic centerfold is pure nerd poetry. Marvel, you beautiful bastards. Am I crying again??
9:22 The movie wraps up in a blur. From exhaustion, from recycled air irritating my eyes. . .yeah that’s it. No blurriness over Pietro Maximov’s untimely death. . . OMG is it over? did I survive?
9:35 Yes. Yes I did. Even better? My ride or die homegirl is outside to drive our crazy asses home and save us from public transportation!!
All in all it was worth the ride, just to say I’ve done it. All night refills of movie theatre popcorn was definitely an indulgence 12-year-old me is SO satisfied with. The odd looks as I brushed my teeth in the theatre bathroom @ 11am were a form of entertainment all their own 😂 However, with (at least?) seven more movies to go before the Infinity Saga is complete, any future Marvel Marathon will have to take place at home. I’m going to need blankets, squishy pillows and about 200 less humans around to pull this off again!